Do Not Murder
Rabbi Akiva famously said, “Love your neighbor as yourself,” is the general rule of the Torah.
At first glance, this teaching seems to focus entirely on how we treat others. Yet embedded within it is a quiet but profound assumption: that a person loves themselves.
Is there such a thing as self-love in Torah thought?
On the one hand, Judaism places enormous emphasis on becoming givers rather than takers. Rabbi Eliyahu Dessler famously explained that the purpose of life is to transform ourselves into givers—people who focus less on loving themselves and more on loving others, less on their own needs and more on others’ needs and that of the world, and ultimately on the honor of God.
On the other hand, Rabbi Akiva’s formulation assumes self-love exists and even uses it as the model for loving others. The Torah does not say simply, “Love your neighbor.” It says, “Love your neighbor as yourself.”
Even modern psychology recognizes this truth: a person who lacks a healthy sense of self-worth struggles to truly love others.
The resolution seems clear. Self-love is essential—but it is not the goal. It is the tool.
We value ourselves so that we can value others. We recognize our own dignity so that we can recognize the dignity of every human being.
Rabbi Gedaliah Schorr offers a remarkable insight into what happened at Sinai.
When the Jewish people heard the commandment “Do not murder,” they immediately grasped its deeper implication. To truly uphold this commandment requires more than simply refraining from violence. It requires seeing the infinite worth of another human being. It requires loving the other as oneself.
And for one extraordinary moment, they actually reached that level. How?
At Sinai, the people suddenly understood the value of their own lives. They realized that God had created them deliberately, entered into a covenant with them, and entrusted them with a mission—to bring enlightenment and elevation to the world. In that moment, they saw their own potential with complete clarity. They recognized how precious and capable they were, and how much goodness they could bring into existence. Once they saw their own worth so clearly, something remarkable happened: they saw that same worth in everyone else. In that instant, loving another person as oneself was no longer an ideal. It was simply the natural consequence of recognizing how precious every human life truly is.
The Weekly Anchor
One time this week, take a moment to appreciate your own worth, how much you mean to others, how much good you have done and still have to do, and then project that on others – look at them through the same lens.